Dating fear of rejection
When a girl complains about a guy who stops returning her calls, my first instinct is to tell her "You think that's bad?
I was rejected more times in the last month than you've been rejected in your entire life.
Try being a dude for a week, then come back and complain to me." However, I don't, because I realize that the rejections a man endures - although no less damaging to his pride - are easier to bear in light of the knowledge that he can approach more women in order to find a new girl.
A woman has less direct control over new dating opportunities.
At some point you get back to the person you used to be — with your aspirations and dreams, hobbies, spending time with friends, taking care of your well-being, and improving yourself — which also means being in public more, communicating with people, and meeting new people.
With a social life, however, comes the possibility of rejection.
The anonymous man from Paradise, California, told New York Magazine that he believes an abusive childhood and a crippling lack of confidence are just some of the reasons why he has never once had sex in his life.'Up until about five years ago... 'When I was younger, I'd lay there hour after hour burning with passion.
I recently said a little prayer and decided to stop thinking about it.'While he was prone to sexual fantasies in his teens and felt a strong desire to be intimate with women, the man says his libido has all but dried up in his later years, and he has only ever been on one date in his life.
A man gains nothing from staying on his side of the street when a beautiful woman passes on the other; a woman gains nothing from perpetuating a relationship in which she constantly .You are the only one responsible for your dating success. And like in all other aspects of life, you can increase that success by taking risks, enduring rejections, picking yourself back up and trying again. And when he went back to college at 32 to study computer programming, 'everybody was getting something and I wasn't.There was a time where I was just getting so inflamed and lonely I would have done it with anyone who offered.''It will just be worse because I'll know what it’s like and then I'll want more,' he explained.A man needs to initiate with the possibility of being rejected, and a woman has to let the man initiate, with the possibility of being rejected (i.e. Both sexes have to take risk and face rejection if they ultimately want success. All of this is to make the point that rejection, while difficult for both sexes, is a necessary part of the dating landscape. As I've said before, if you aren't getting rejected, it probably means you aren't dating up to your potential. Things don’t always go according to the plan, and life surprises us more often than we’d like.In this case, the goal is to learn to accept rejection and feel better after it.Couple that with the abuse at the hands of his 'strapping Marine' father, who would sometimes wake him up at 3am just to beat him with a belt, and it's clear to see how the man became cripplingly shy and self-conscious.At one point, he jokes: 'When people ask me why I'm a virgin, I tell them I suffer from terminal ugliness.